Virus Warning

Just wanted to send you this Warning and to be on the Lookout ! There's absolutely no cause for Alarm. This is just to prepare you for the Event.

I thought you would want to know about this e-mail virus.

Even the most advanced programs from Norton or McAfee cannot take care of this one.
It appears to affect those who were born prior to 1960.

Symptoms:

1. Causes you to send the same e-mail twice.

2. Causes you to send a blank e-mail.

3. Causes you to send e-mail to the wrong person.

4. Causes you to send it back to the person who sent it to you.

5. Causes you to forget to attach the attachment.

6. Causes you to hit "SEND" before you've finished.

7. Causes you to hit "DELETE" instead of "SEND."

8. Causes you to hit "SEND" when you should "DELETE."

IT IS CALLED THE "C-NILE VIRUS."

Quotes on Various Subjects

Diplomacy

*Diplomacy is to do and say the nastiest things in the nicest way. (Isaac Goldberg)

*To say nothing, especially when speaking, is half the art of diplomacy. (Will Durant)

Dishonesty

*Honesty pays, but it doesn’t seem to pay enough to suit some people. (Kin Hubbard)

*Don't place too much confidence in the man who boasts of being honest as the day is long.
Wait until you meet him at night. (Robert C. Edwards)

Dissent

*In a number of cases, dissenting opinions have in time become the law.
(Charles Evans Hughes)

Distrust

*Never trust a man who speaks well of everybody. (John Churton Collins)

*On one issue at least, men and women agree: they both distrust women. (H. L. Menken)

Doubt

*I respect faith, but doubt is what gets you an education. (Wilson Mizner)

*Doubt is the beginning, not the end, of wisdom. (George Iles)

*Men become civilized, not in proportion to their willingness to believe,
but in proportion to their readiness to doubt. (H. L. Mencken)

Capsule Sermons

1. It's hard to get off your high horse gracefully.


2. The only one who can smile when things go wrong is the repairman.


3. The most expensive vehicle to operate is the shopping cart.


4. Everyone has enough money unless they need to buy something.


5. To make long story short don't tell it.


6. Swallowing angry words is better than having to eat them.


7. Practice makes everything easier except getting out of bed in the morning.

P.S. A LOT OF GOOD SIGNATURES HERE!!!!

Capsule Sermons

1. The best way to convince a fool that he is wrong is to let him have his own way.


2. You are not what you own.


3. Our whole life is but a small point in time . Let's enjoy it.


4. Talk is cheap because the supply exceeds demand.


5. A true test of maturity is when keeping a secret brings more satisfaction than passing it on.


6. Love and forgiveness heals all wounds.


7. Necessity is an interpretation not a fact.

NO JOKE - THIS IS SERIOUS

I JUST RECEIVED THIS FROM THE TOP STUDENT IN MY CLASS AT OXFORD, AR.
THIS IS NOT A JOKE. GROVER

Subject: Cell Phone
done this too! Never thought about how dangerous it might
be! Re-Charging Cell Phones I went to snopes.com to be sure it
wasn't an urban legend & it's not. It is very true! And I do this
all the time! Not anymore!!!!!!!! This seems important enough to
forward to others. It's wise to be safe and safe being wise. This
was also on Pittsburgh 's WTAE channel 4 News.

Never, ever answer a cell phone while it is being CHARGED!!

A few days ago, a person was recharging his cell phone at
home. Just at that time a call came and he answered it with the
instrument still connected to the outlet. After a few seconds
electricity flowed into the cell phone unrestrained and the young
man was thrown to the gr ound with a heavy thud. His pa rents rushed
& nbsp;to the room only to find him unconscious, with a weak heartbeat and
burnt fingers. He was rushed to the nearby hospital, but was
pronounced dead on arrival.

Never use the cell phone while it is hooked to the electrical
outlet, unplug it to use it, then plug it back in to outlet to
finish recharging!

FORWARD THIS TO THE PEOPLE THAT MATTER IN YOUR LIFE,

I JUST DID!!!

Doctor Jokes

Doctor Jokes

A doctor gave a man six months to live. The man couldn't pay his bill, so he gave him another six months.

The Doctor called Mrs. Cohen saying, "Mrs. Cohen, your check came back." Mrs. Cohen answered, "So did my arthritis!"

The Doctor says, "You'll live to be 60!" "I AM 60!" "See, what did I tell you?"

A doctor says to a man, "You want to improve your love life? You need to get some exercise. Run ten miles a day." Two weeks later, the man called the doctor. The doctor says, "How is your love life since you have been running?" "I don't know, I'm 140 miles away!"

The patient says, "Doctor, it hurts when I do this." "Then don't do that!"


A doctor has a stethoscope up to a man's chest. The man asks, "Doc, how do I stand?" The doctor says, "That's what puzzles me!"

"Doctor, my leg hurts. What can I do?" The doctor says, "Limp!"

A man goes to a psychiatrist. "Nobody listen to me!" The doctor says, "Next!"

A man goes to a psychiatrist. The doctor says, "You're crazy" The man says, "I want a second opinion!" "Okay, you're ugly too!"

"Doctor, I have a ringing in my ears." "Don't answer!"

Nurse: "Doctor, the man you just gave a clean bill of health to dropped dead right as he was leaving the office". Doctor: "Turn him around, make it look like he was walking in."

I know a guy who had his doctor say, "Take some weight off, go to a health club." The man lost 20 pounds in one week! The machine tore his leg off!

Sarcastic Quotes

» Sometimes I need what only you can provide: your absence.
- Ashleigh Brilliant
» It's always darkest before it turns absolutely pitch black.
- Paul Newman .
» I feel so miserable without you, it's almost like having you here.
- Stephen Bishop
» I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.
» I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it.
» I didn't like the play, but then I saw it under adverse conditions - the curtain was up.
- Groucho Marx
The trouble with her is that she lacks the power of conversation but not the power of speech.
- George Bernard Shaw
» He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.
- Oscar Wilde
» He was happily married - but his wife wasn't.
- Victor Borge
I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.
- Mark Twain
» I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure.
- Clarence Darrow
» If you ever become a mother, can I have one of the puppies?
- Charles Pierce
» You have delighted us long enough.
- Jane Austen